Washington, DC - Just 24 hours after the FTC announced it is investigating why McDonald's ice cream machines are always broken, we've now learned that the U.S. Congress has opened its own investigation.
"The Senate will be holding ice cream hearings beginning Friday and the first person we want to hear from is Ronald McDonald himself," said a Senate spokesperson.
Inside sources say Senators have allotted 9-hours for McDonald's testimony, and it is expected to be direct and intense.
"I can think of no more important issue for Congress to take up," said Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell. "We're angry, and the American people deserve answers. And they deserve ice cream."
McDonald's representatives Grimace and Hamburglar are also expected to testify, according to a Senate aide speaking on conditions of anonymity.
It is unclear if Mayor McCheese has been called.
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